Oscars Predictions: As Pulled Out of My Ass

25 02 2007

Each year I predict the Oscar winners based on how fast I can pull it out of my famous brown ass. Actually, I’ve only started this pulling-out-of-my-ass thing since 2005. I used to be very serious about the Oscars, watching all the nominated films and studying past winners and all that shit. Last year I bothered to look at what other ‘scholars’ and ‘critics’ are predicitng. I had a 37% success rate in my predictions. What the fuck do those fuckers know anyway. The year before was much better. How will I do this year? We’ll find out later tonight.

BEST PICTURE: Little Miss Sunshine

BEST DIRECTOR: Martin Scorsese

BEST ACTOR: Forest Whitaker

BEST ACTRESS: Helen Mirren

BEST S. ACTRESS: Jennifer Hudson

BEST S. ACTOR: Eddie Murphy

BEST SCREENPLAY (Original): Michael Arndt

BEST SCREENPLAY (Adapted): William Monahan

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Emmanuel Lubezki

BEST EDITING: Douglas Crise and Stephen Mirrione

BEST ART DIRECTION: Pan’s Labyrinth (and if you don’t want foreigners to win: DREAMGIRLS)

BEST COSTUME: Sharen Davis (Dreamgirls)

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: Gustavo Santaolalla (Babel)

BEST ORIGINAL SONG: Our Town (Cars)

BEST MAKE-UP: Pan’s Labyrinth

BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND: Pirates: Dead Man’s Chest

BEST SOUND EDITING: Pirates: Dead Man’s Chest

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: Pirates: Dead Man’s Chest

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: Happy Feet

BEST FOREIGN FILM: Pan’s Labyrinth

BEST FEATURE DOCUMENTARY: An Incovenient Truth

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT: Two Hands: The Leon Fleisher Story

BEST ANIMATED SHORT: The Danish Poet (I loved ‘Maestro’ from the Oscar shorts screenings from last week)

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT: West Bank Story (none of the nominated films deserve anything…trust me….I’ve seen them all)

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