Beasts with Make-Up

7 07 2007

Three coats of paint, if you didn’t know, is great for walls, not human faces. Spending up to $4,000 per month!! That’s fucking nuts! I know it’s your money and you can do whatever you want to.

I guess that’s it, then. It is your money and you can do whatever the fuck you want to.

Ladies, no matter what you say, you’re not wasting hours and money to look good for yourself – that’s BS. You wanna show the other woman that you look, and are, better than her. Next, if you wanna look good for guys by devoting so much time on hair and face.

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Pigs With Cellphones: The Condom Ad or the CBS and FOX People Who Rejected It?

18 06 2007

NY Times article on how a condom commercial was banned from appearing on FOX and CBS. Their explanation is in English but to me sounds like a lot of ‘grunt grunt…oink oink.’ Cialis pimp CBS talks about being appropriate! Just found my knee-slapper.





Dear Wall Street Journal – Wake Up, Man!

14 06 2007

Some of the more traditional papers have realized a little while ago that Internet is the future of all media. They’ve tried to deny it, they’ve tried to ignore it, but they eventually gave in. I won’t be surprised if NY Times Digital makes more money than the newspaper. From what I’ve heard, out of all NY Times holdings, only About.com is making profit. That bit of information is about six months too old. When the organization moves into the new building on 42nd street, right across from Port Authority bus terminal, not only will it have a new look but it’s expected to have a new attitude towards journalism and media; deserves applause. And I won’t be surprised if they – hush hush- dumped the old bags who refuse to change and go with a younger, more hip, Internet savvy, multi-functional group of journalists.

NY Times’s recent hiring of Brian Stelter is a brilliant move in the right direction. His blog TVNewser has been widely acclaimed in the media industry. And get this, he’s only 21, recently graduated from Towson Univ. in Baltimore and has only been blogging since 2004. Look what a blog can do for you. Why has his blog been successful? He’s a news junkie and his insight into the industry without being in the industry is remarkable.

So, back to Wall Street Journal. Why don’t they get it already? Raising the price is not going to help. It won’t save the paper. Keep the fucking thing a $1 – WSJ. You’ve already shaved a column off of the print version so you could save – who gives a shit – $X million dollars and re-sizing – who gives a rat’s ass – $Z million dollars in re-fit company’s this and re-coup – give it a rest already – $Y million dollars from this via that and those over there divided by some of this and a little bit of that.

Here’s what WSJ should do: 1) Re-design that awful looking website. 2) Make it free for anyone and everyone. 3) Make the whole archive available for a low monthly fee (very low). 4) Make a very strong multi-media division – Washington Post has done a great job with that. 5) Bring the blogs up on front and don’t make it a ‘free’ feature as if you look down on it 6) if your podcast is on iTunes, why not promote it more? 7) Make it free! 8) Make it free! 9) Widgets! 10) College Journal sucks – you make it seem like college’s don’t deserve a great section in your paper. In case you missed – read one of the previous paragraphs to understand what you miss when you overlook colleges.

In short, here’s where I think you’ll hit jackpot – 11) More blogs! Bring it up front and make your college section the place to find new talent. Open it up for school and college students to blog about the media or business world their own way. I’ll bet you you will find your future stars there. You may sneer at social networking now, but can you name one social networking site that brings all the business students together? Let me be more specific.

You can do all of that and never have to raise the print version’s price. In fact, your website will be so successful, you can come out and say “We love you, readers, the price for WSJ is now just $.75 – and if you subscribe now, free access to all our archives going all the way back to the coverage of ‘Adam Rethinks Apple from Tree. Eve’s Portfolio Not Looking Good. God Smiles.’ People who’ve never bought a paper in their life will pay to subscribe. Remember when you offered the paper for free to promote the new shaved-off column? Heck I made sure I was at the Port Authority bus terminal early that day. I saw people going right past the AM and Metro guys and picking up the WSJ.

Imagine a future, perhaps just a few months down the line. A business class begins at a College in Sylhet, Bangladesh. The professor opens her laptop and so does her 30+ students – no large backpacks, no pens, no pencils, and no notebooks (paper) in sight. She begins by saying, “Okay – as usual, we’ll spend the first 10 minutes going over WSJ stories of the day and your assigned group will bookmark 3 stories. Discuss among yourselves first and we’ll discuss it with other groups later. You will present your cases, referring to the stories, finding related research items, cases, and charts. I’ll give each group 10 minutes to present it…in a blog form on our screen. Before you leave, I’ll have selected presentations uploaded on the WSJ site.”

Mm mm mm…business education in a new world. WSJ, you wouldn’t want MySpace to replace your name in the previous paragraph, would you?

Oops, maybe too late for that!





Knee-Slapper: Paris Hilton Finds God

11 06 2007

I used to act dumb. The act is no longer cute.” This is her talking to the old bag, Barbara Walters, who should be made Uncle Junior’s playmate. I’m sure it will make a great episode of ‘thwenthy-thwenthy.’ The blonde dumbshell goes on to add, “Now, I would like to make a difference. God has given me this new chance.” My knees are sore from slapping and eyes teary from laughter. What an awesome workout.





Sopranos Finale: Unsatisfactory? I Don’t Think So.

11 06 2007

I don’t think Tony and family gets killed or anything. It seemed like it was building up that way. But I don’t think that was the case at all. It would have pleased a lot of viewers, though.
I can understand why fans, semi-fans, and people who got into the series late (me) had such a reaction at the ending of the series. I was commenting somewhere that fans of LOST analyze every little detail on the show – even the tiniest of them (pictures, props, books, etc) – yet we (not me) find it hard to accept there may be similar details in the shots and sound designs of the Sopranos. Why is that?
You know what the finale played with? It played with our own imagination and expectations as TV viewers. If it were on film, it would have been hailed as a masterpiece. I mean, there they are, the Sopranos, in a diner getting ready for dinner. A guy walks in, a couple laughing it up, more people walk in, Meadow can’t park, etc. the tension builds up and we hope, hope, hope they mean something a la Brian De Palma or Coppola. We’re used to watching on films where a series of such shots are placed and then they all gang up on the target and blow their brains out. Perhaps see Meadow scream in slow motion and get blood spattered on her face. The young couple laughing it up wielding automatics and french fries flying all over the place.
And it would have given us a lot of satisfaction to see it unfold that way. But then it would’ve made us hate the series for being predictable. Would you have liked that?
Regarding loose ends. Maybe there aren’t any. Again, I’ll take shelter in metaphors just because the show is heavy on them. Expecting all answers spelled out would be a bore, wouldn’t it? Don’t you want to find out gradually what all this means? Don’t you want to discover when you watch it again on DVD? Now look at it from a business point of view. They’re just made a major deal with A&E where the Sopranos after-life is, besides the DVDs. Wouldn’t it be foolish to screw all that up by bungling a perfectly great series? Would HBO, or David Chase, risk all that?
You have to ask yourself this when you watch the series on A&E, or DVD ;): Why were certain shots and sounds placed in certain scenes? There’s no way they meant nothing. No fucking way. I refuse, refuse to believe the show attracted all this talent, behind and in front of the camera, to create a scene where useless shots were placed and useless Foley performed. Ah, you never thought sound design mattered.

All the above I wouldn’t expect on a network show (except LOST) or most of the other cable shows, but I think time will reveal something else about Sopranos we’re all failing to see.

I’ll admit I seemed more angry in my writing than I actually was when the show ended, and I don’t know why I was so. You won’t believe what a good night’s sleep does to your hindsight. I’m not there yet, figuring out the series, but I’m not giving up.

Watch scenes of finale on AOL





So, What’s The Deal with Blonde and Athlete Jokes?

7 06 2007

Jokes about these two groups are in thousands. Economist Robert H. Frank discusses “where do the underlying stereotypes come from”.





Not Another MySpace, Please!

7 06 2007

Not a week has passed by since Amp’d Mobile filed Chapter 11 Now Coke wants their new venture to be the ‘MySpace of the cell-phone world‘ When a company makes comparisons/predictions like that you have to salute their arrogance. What does that mean, MySpace of the cell-phone world? Perverts will have more options to spam you? Instead of the caller ID giving you just the name and number you can see the person’s screen name and a picture of them half-naked sprawled on their coffee table? By comparing, all the company’s doing is making web users (esp. bloggers and MySpace ‘lovers’) eager to look for flaws with the new site, and all the ways Sprite Yard will be worse than MySpace, or any other social networking site. Can you expect a positive word-of-mouth that way?

If your site is different, efficient, and cool, users will notice it and appreciate it; not to mention rave about it. Just let them give it a try and let them compare it to whatever they want to. The company assumes the whole world is on MySpace or wants to be. It’s not. There are about 182 million registered users on MySpace – I know, I just checked my page 🙂 I have 4 accounts on there – Emonome (my first account back in 2005), Hassberry Theatre Company (surprised this one got more attention), one filmmaker account, and one for Washington Heighs Artists Theater. If there are, at least, 5 million users just like me, that means we take up 20 mill accounts on MySpace. I’m sure some have more accounts – let’s say 5 million people have up to 5 accounts each – that makes another 25 million. Why would anyone have 5 each? Ok, let’s take my own example. If I made films now and followed what other filmmakers do, I’d create another account for that film only. With just a couple of films added, I’d have stacked up to 7-8 accounts. Granted this makes no sense to a lot of people and keeping your accounts updated can be a bitch, but each film needs to be identified and presented on its own.

We haven’t taken the perverts into account. This group can take up to 10 accounts each. How many times have you received spam from ‘girls’ who say “I am new to MySpace and loved your profile so much. I don’t use this so much, so you can email me at my Yahoo! account.?” How many times have you noticed the same picture but with different account names sending you links to the new iPhone giveaway (back in February)? Let’s group the perverts and spammers into one bunch – how many are there? Well, your guess is as good as mine – and make a nice round figure of 5 million (I’ll start low) so, bam, a whopping 50 million accounts.

Then there are people who’ve opened an account and never went back after they realized Tom will forever be their only friend. Another 5 million. Then some more who’d opened an account, forgot they’d opened one, couldn’t find the old account, and, therefore, opened a new one – another 5 million times two – 10 million accounts. And who’s to say there aren’t people sitting in a sweatshop in India, working for $.50 an hour creating account after account after account after account. Oh, how I dare imply. I don’t actually think a company would stoop so low, I mean so fucking low, to beef up their numbers because that’d be just stupid and that would just be…fucking idiotic.

Let’s add things up here:

People like me (4 accounts each times 5 million) – 20 million

People crazier than me and with more time (10 accounts each times 5 million) – 50 million

Perverts and Spammers – (10 accounts each times 5 million) – 50 million

One-time users – 5 million

Opened once, opened twice (2 accounts times 5 million) – 10 million

Grand total – 25 million actual users and 135 million MySpace accounts.

That was a fun game, wasn’t it? Especially since it was based on nothing but my scientific assumptions and the guiding light of Ms. Cleo. If these numbers were true, who gets or has been getting fucked? Advertisers, of course, who think they’re actually reaching 182 million users. Suckers! My suggestion to new sites (too late for you, Sprite Yard) please don’t make the mistake of saying how your venture will be like this one or that one and how it will change the way things are done. You’d just be just making an ass out of u and me.